This week, I'm giving you a duo - the ultimate duo - and no, they're not related! Our #wingwomen this week are Laura Milne and Betsy Milne from Luscious Hustle. I'm personally pumped to share these women with all of you this week as they have been my mentors since the beginning of In Her Circle, and they have witnessed all of the twists and turns since inception. In our interview, Laura and Betsy share their different perspectives on how they include pockets of lusciousness into each day, how they are passionate about having interesting conversations with women all over the world, and how they learned that in order to truly help others, you must work on healing yourself first. Continue reading to learn all about Laura & Betsy!
1. What makes you happy?
(Laura) For me the ‘luscious’ part of Luscious Hustle has always been about laughter and camaraderie that comes from socializing with other ambitious, intelligent and heart-centered women. Luscious is dinner with friends that end in late nights talking and laughing over a table strewn with the dirty dishes none of us are getting up to wash.
(Betsy) to me happiness is in the little pockets of my day when I get to reconnect with myself. Walking my dog, having my morning cardamom latte, receiving flowers, long phone calls, or receiving a thoughtful text or DM from a friend. Happiness exists in the micro and when you compound those experiences, life feels joyful.
2. What advice would you give your younger self?
(Laura) I was very driven to achieve academically and professionally throughout my twenties and although I certainly did do my fair share of partying, I can see how I subconsciously held myself back from not only making new friends but from honing my social skills and building my ‘networking’ ‘friendship-making’ muscles.
(Betsy). That it’s okay to have fun! I was a very serious child. Even from a young age I was driven to achieve big things. I was on track to go to the Olympics at 12 and something shifted for me. The more success I had, the more I got bullied at school and I never understood why. So I doubled down on creating my own successes. This led to a host of problems, like injuries, chronic illness, and missing out on big life events (like prom and even parts of high school). I wish I had understood that there was time for everything to unfold and I didn’t have to push so hard.
3. If you could magically solve one problem in the world, what would that be?
It would be to help women come home to who they truly are and discover how to take action from their purpose-driven intuition. This is work we do in Luscious Hustle every day: Supporting women to drop their fixation with external markers of validation (physical appearance, job title, relationship status, money, number of followers on social media…) and look for the wholeness that already exists within each of us; to help you find the sense of peace and fulfillment you think you can only have after you’ve achieved the external trappings of success. This is why ‘LUSCIOUS’ (your divine feminine intuition) comes first, then the ‘hustle’ (masculine go-getter action). You can chase - hustle - towards a goal all you like and achieve it through sheer willpower...but if your efforts are not in alignment with what your soul is really craving you will find yourself at the proverbial finish line feeling empty.
4. How did you find your purpose?
(Laura) One of the best exercises I have come across to help you find or rediscover your purpose is Simon Sinek’s Friendship Exercise. In a nutshell, you ask a trusted friend why they are friends with you. It sounds wildly simple (and it is) but it can be really powerful to hear someone reflect back to you what your strengths are and why you bring meaning to their life.
(Betsy) People have always been drawn to me for advice and I love hearing people’s stories. Eventually I realized that in order for me to truly help other people I needed to do the work and heal myself first. Once I rooted down in my own healing journey, my purpose became clear.
5. What is your biggest pain point in building relationships?
(Laura) My current pain point is simply time. I’m a single mom to a young daughter, running a successful business and navigating a tumultuous year of separation, major life changes, and pandemic-life...time is simply not something I have an excess of. That said, as pandemic life restrictions have begun to lift I have made a point to start reconnecting with girlfriends and entrepreneurial peers, it feels amazing to get back in the swing of socializing, sharing and really hearing everyone’s stories of what they're going through in 2020.
(Betsy) for me it’s just isolation. Where I live, we are still in a lockdown and all of my friends live far away — in NYC and NJ — which are hot spots. Even though I’m an introvert (and actually quite shy), I love meeting new people while I’m out. This pandemic has really forced me to look at my relationships and how I can connect going forward.
6. What have you learned from past friendships that didn't work out?
(Laura) In my experience when a friendship drifts apart it’s usually because of a change in life goals and/or a change stage of life for one or both people. It’s important to accept that not all friendships are meant to last a lifetime - it all depends on your soul contract with that person. Some soul contracts certainly do last a lifetime or even multiple lifetimes, others run their course and that’s absolutely as the Universe intends it to be. When there is a void in your life, it can be easy to slip into lack and feel unworthy or lost in the friendship department. When you recognize this is happening, notice that it’s actually an opportunity to stay open to receiving a new friendship into your life, when that’s to your highest good.
(Betsy) there is a line in Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love that has always stuck with me. Richard says something along the lines of how a soulmate is like a mirror. They are not meant to last a lifetime. They are there to reflect back to you who you are in that moment.
With that in mind, I sometimes feel like we put too much pressure on ourselves to make relationships work. I have lots of friends who move in and out of my life. I always find my way back to my true friends, no matter what life throws at us. I have many friends who I’ve known for over 30 years, but I don’t need to speak to them every day to feel close. To me that is a sign of true friendship.
I think if we give ourselves the opportunity to truly connect and have fun together, friendships can last a lifetime.
7. Who are your SHEroes (AKA female heroes)?
(Laura) My long-standing female entrepreneur hero is Sara Blakely. She is unapologetic about being herself, standing up and standing out and I just love a woman who is super raw and real about raising kids while running a billion dollar business. She makes me feel good about being me.
(Betsy) lately it’s been RBG and Lucille Ball. RBG because she’s a freaking legend and Lucille Ball because I just learned she was the first female head of a studio and literally went toe-to-toe with men in Hollywood. Both of them stayed true to who they are and lead by example. I find that truly inspiring.
8. What podcasts/books are you listening/reading right now?
(Laura) I just finished reading Untamed by Glennon Doyle, absolutely loved it!
I’m also just finishing up Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller - literally mind blowing how our attachment foundations as infants affect us all the way through to our adult relationships. Game Changer.
(Betsy) podcast: Brene Brown and Michelle Obama. Both really get me fired up when I listen to them.
For books, I’m reading the Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Dee Kolk. It’s all about trauma and the brain and truly fascinating. To balance that out, I’m also reading the Seven Sisters series by Lucinda Riley. Nothing like a 7-book fantasy series about love and finding your true happiness to balance out the darkness!
9. Where can we find you?
You can find all things Luscious Hustle on our website, www.LusciousHustle.com, on Instagram @luscious.hustle and twice weekly episodes on the Luscious Hustle Podcast streaming on all the podcast platforms you can find.